My life has been changing. Everything is up and down. Then theres you, you are my safe place from the world. You are my only release from stress. My only part of my life that does not have off and on problems. You dont ever make me feel bad. You dont ever say anything rude. You dont do dumb things. You are always just kind , purely loving and encouraging. All good things to me you have been a blessing. After everything in my day goes on it could be the best day ever or a day i rant about for 20 minutes and no matter what you are there. Nothing makes m happier.
I dont care to be with someone. I dont care to love. I dont want to have a crush. I dont care. I dont want I dont need I just dont. Im gonna be alone. Im going to love myself and like myself and care for me and want myself and need myself. because doing all those things for another person takes away from what you do for you. You give up such a life ruining amount of effort to make someone else happy and Iv given out my share of fucks to the wrong people so I know ill never do that again.
Everyone told me I would have this first love. He would make me extremely happy kiss me like he ment it say he loved me like he always would and then crush my heart. The love would be amazing but wouldnt last. And to a point I guess they were right but I dont think you were my first love. I loved many things before I loved you. I loved people, animals, life, everything. But you came around in my life at a point where nothing loved me back. You loved me back and So I loved you more for that. You were not my first love but my strongest. You made me see things I wouldnt have seen. You made me feel things I hadnt yet felt. You made me say things I never thought Id say. And they told me Id always love you no matter how bad It hurt and I told them I know. Cause I do. I love you more than anyone. I hate you at times hate the stupid things you do but I know at one point I saw the inner you with the sweet emotions and the late night smiles and hald whispered goodnights and waking up to you I saw the you no one else has seen yet and that is one thing ill never hate about you.